Its been a while since I’ve updated on my recovery so here you go.
As you can see the scars have healed and aren’t as noticeable at they were in the last pictures I posted back in January. (Which you can see by clicking on this link http://princess-zeldaaa.tumblr.com/post/71662138147/trigger-warning-i-am-not-posting-these-to-get ) I’ve been 4 months and 4 days clean and I’m still going strong. I made a promise to someone on December 26, 2013, that no matter where life takes me I wouldn’t pick up another blade again and even though this person isn’t in my life anymore, i plan on keeping that promise because I still care greatly about them. I’ve been through so much shit these past 4 months, the first 2 months were the hardest, I cried and cried so much at night, I would fake a smile everyday at school and everyone thought I was perfectly fine, but in reality I was broken, and I still am but I’m slowly putting myself back together again. so many tears have fallen on my pillow and on my friends shoulders, and I am not gonna lie have thought about cutting, but I haven’t and I’m pretty damn proud of myself and that is something that just 5 months ago I couldn’t say. I used to be ashamed of my scars, I used to be ashamed of my body and now I just don’t even care anymore. I love myself, I love who I am, and I am happy with my self and my body. These scars don’t bother me anymore, I get down in the dumps everyone once in a while and my life at home is terrible but I’ve managed to stay strong this far and I plan and staying clean for a while. Me cutting hurt a lot people… So many people got so worried about me and got scared that I might take it a step further one day and just leave them. Seeing my close friends cry over what I had done killed me. I never knew how many people actually cared about me. And so many people have helped me stay strong these past few months. The main one is my best friend Barbara. There are loads others and they know who they are. If any of you see this post I just want you to know I love you so much and I am so grateful to have you in my life. You guys, all my friends, are the reason why I stay strong. Thank you guys so much for being here for me and listening to all my complaining and crying these past few months. Y’all really are amazing